I’ll never forget the day I asked my father what happened. He said “ Teen one day your going to know all the facts of my case.”
I was only 12 so I was overwhelmed. I knew that I was the only one out of all my siblings that would listen. My other sisters weren’t very close to my dad like I was. They didn’t abide by daddy they knew his authority only reigned over them temporarily. But me I was different I wanted to have the kind of relationship the girls outside prison had with their fathers. I drew cartoons just to show daddy I was going to be an artist just like him.
He started off telling me his wrongs. “ I wasn’t right by your mother, and i know she probably tells you I’m a no good...” My mother wasn’t like that though, she had the biggest heart. My mother forgave the worst, to see the good in her relationships. He continued “ I’m not perfect, But I’m not murderer teen”. When he spoke that word I cringed. Because I knew that the kids who were just like me, sitting out here on these trailers, listened to stories from their fathers too. And most of the time their father actually took someone’s life. For example, I had a friend whose father killed his wife after she cheated on him. Of course I had no clue when I was young. But as I got older I’d ask my dad what people did, what his peers, “were in for”. It was bitter sweet, because I knew these men as good fathers who played with their kids, husbands who wouldn’t stop tongue kissing their wives, and neighbors who shared there sugar.
As I sat on the couch, I listened, intrigued by my fathers need to share his story.
He stood in front of me animated and began, “I was inside the store getting a beer when the shooting took place. Everybody was hanging out at Ted’s hot dog joint, that’s were teenagers often hung out. Right off Bailey and Delavan. There had to be at least 60 people outside. When I first got there, Mario told me ‘Aaron went to get his brother Tori and said to him when he came back they would shoot up the corner.’ I had nothing to do with the threats or their fight, so I didn’t care I was going into the store to get me a beer. As I was reaching in the cooler, I heard gunshots. I ran out the store being nosy to see Mario and Aaron wrestling with a gun. Tori had a gun in his hand too. Next thing you know Lamar came running up the street behind them, shooting at Tori and Aaron.”
My father always reiterated to make sure I was focused, “ You understand teen” he said. Then he continued, “ Everyone was scared, they all scattered. And I ran to my car and drove off. The next day I got pulled over they told me they were taking me in for questioning. Then they said they were charging me with shooting everyone.”
I wasn’t really aware of all that went into a court case. Actually, still till this day I haven’t been to a courtroom, since my fathers sentencing when I was just a baby. Not sure if that’s good or bad. But after listening to my grandmother, my father and Aunt Gwen read the trail transcripts over and over, I realized everything went just the way my father explained. That my father wasn’t a liar, and he was a innocent man in prison. I often fantasized about father coming home. Him buying us a house like he always claimed he would do. When I was little I wanted small things when he got out, Like a Yorkshire terrier and hello kitty. But as I got older my wishes grew, Cadillac Escalade, Range Rover, to a Daycare. And now I sit here waiting for the day that all of this pays off, all of the childhood memories, adventures , and media outlets. The day were I get the most valuable gift anyone can receive, my fathers time.
I was only 12 so I was overwhelmed. I knew that I was the only one out of all my siblings that would listen. My other sisters weren’t very close to my dad like I was. They didn’t abide by daddy they knew his authority only reigned over them temporarily. But me I was different I wanted to have the kind of relationship the girls outside prison had with their fathers. I drew cartoons just to show daddy I was going to be an artist just like him.
He started off telling me his wrongs. “ I wasn’t right by your mother, and i know she probably tells you I’m a no good...” My mother wasn’t like that though, she had the biggest heart. My mother forgave the worst, to see the good in her relationships. He continued “ I’m not perfect, But I’m not murderer teen”. When he spoke that word I cringed. Because I knew that the kids who were just like me, sitting out here on these trailers, listened to stories from their fathers too. And most of the time their father actually took someone’s life. For example, I had a friend whose father killed his wife after she cheated on him. Of course I had no clue when I was young. But as I got older I’d ask my dad what people did, what his peers, “were in for”. It was bitter sweet, because I knew these men as good fathers who played with their kids, husbands who wouldn’t stop tongue kissing their wives, and neighbors who shared there sugar.
As I sat on the couch, I listened, intrigued by my fathers need to share his story.
He stood in front of me animated and began, “I was inside the store getting a beer when the shooting took place. Everybody was hanging out at Ted’s hot dog joint, that’s were teenagers often hung out. Right off Bailey and Delavan. There had to be at least 60 people outside. When I first got there, Mario told me ‘Aaron went to get his brother Tori and said to him when he came back they would shoot up the corner.’ I had nothing to do with the threats or their fight, so I didn’t care I was going into the store to get me a beer. As I was reaching in the cooler, I heard gunshots. I ran out the store being nosy to see Mario and Aaron wrestling with a gun. Tori had a gun in his hand too. Next thing you know Lamar came running up the street behind them, shooting at Tori and Aaron.”
My father always reiterated to make sure I was focused, “ You understand teen” he said. Then he continued, “ Everyone was scared, they all scattered. And I ran to my car and drove off. The next day I got pulled over they told me they were taking me in for questioning. Then they said they were charging me with shooting everyone.”
I wasn’t really aware of all that went into a court case. Actually, still till this day I haven’t been to a courtroom, since my fathers sentencing when I was just a baby. Not sure if that’s good or bad. But after listening to my grandmother, my father and Aunt Gwen read the trail transcripts over and over, I realized everything went just the way my father explained. That my father wasn’t a liar, and he was a innocent man in prison. I often fantasized about father coming home. Him buying us a house like he always claimed he would do. When I was little I wanted small things when he got out, Like a Yorkshire terrier and hello kitty. But as I got older my wishes grew, Cadillac Escalade, Range Rover, to a Daycare. And now I sit here waiting for the day that all of this pays off, all of the childhood memories, adventures , and media outlets. The day were I get the most valuable gift anyone can receive, my fathers time.
Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment, until it becomes a memory...